Human Frailty and education

In Cape Town, I work with the ADP: Academic Development Programme, which has multiple projects in place to help people from disadvantaged educational backgrounds to succeed at UCT (the University of Cape Town) - a true "ivy-league" school. I've worked with people who do their freshman year in two years instead of one to catch up and then go on to succeed with bachelors degrees in math and science, and more recently I've worked with a two year extended post-bac program that leads to graduate study in astrophysics.

It is really rough on these kids - they are the pride of their family, their town - the top of their class all the way through, they 'know' how to do well in school, they are smart and hard working. Then they get to UCT, and find that their level of mathematics is years behind, their understanding of physics is rudimentary at best, they are expected to program and produce lab reports in LaTeX and many have limited exposure to computer use (and most have never programmed) - EVEN for the post-bac students!

They are so passionate, they are proud. Then they hit reality and they flounder, they fail, they are at the bottom of their class. They know people have invested in their success - but wonder if it is good enough that they barely get by and are always behind? They wonder if their passion is enough to keep them through the extended moments of extreme frustration? They see each year that what they thought was 'hard work' is nothing compared to what they need to do. They know they spend twice as long completing assignments because they have to review other materials to start on them.

They sit on this precarious ledge of passion about science and knowledge of their intelligence and the chasm that divides them from those that have been through the best private schooling and a top-notch UCT undergraduate education.

Then there is how they approach work - they have EXCELLED by working alone, memorizing equations, spitting back what the teachers want to hear. Now none of that works for them. They are forced to shift their entire system of functioning or else drown in the system. They are fragile. But they are growing, and growing rapidly. We will do all we can to support them until they are strong.

It is interesting to contrast this to what we face with our students in the U.S. All the issues similar to varying degrees. Here it is just extreme and we face all factors at once. At least these students don't have to work - the government gives them scholarships - but some do leave families behind to pursue these opportunities. There is a lot to be learned about the student condition from these exceptional students - I appreciate my own growth that comes from knowing them.

I would like, eventually in my career, to work to raise awareness of the frailty of graduate students in the U.S. Our system too often defaults to 'be strong or leave'. How many amazing people do we loose because of personal circumstance where they might just need to be kept from falling ever so briefly then they will fly. I've seen too many graduate students fall seriously ill, have mental breakdowns, struggle with depression, self-worth, and goodness knows we've all cried through the thesis process if not at other times!

Can we infuse more understanding of natural but complex human conditions when we deal with students even at the post-bac level? We don't become super-human just because we succeed. And we never should pretend to be - that just makes the chasm artificially bigger...

To have and to flaunt...

One of the things that always troubles me in Cape Town is the display of wealth - I think Oregon has spoiled me in that people don't show off their wealth much. Cape Town is cosmopolitan, fashion is big here. "Pretty" people abound.

Yesterday at Camps Bay Beach there was a girl in line at the ice cream shop who was sickeningly thin, her hands were shaking, and she was talking on the phone about washing her hair. I don't know that I've ever actually heard someone say "well, today I washed my hair then..." - really?? I thought that was just cliche?! Then the 'cute girls' blocking the side walk to make a grand entrance into the fancy car that pulled over to pick them up. Crazy platform heals and loud giggles.

I haven't yet decided why this bothers me - but I have a few suspicions:

- it's unnecessarily impractical - huge platform heals to hang out by the beach? but whatever - this is a minor thing, I used to be impractical when I was young for the sake of looking cute

- the bigger probability: poverty ABOUNDS here - extreme poverty - showing off wealth seems all that more obnoxious when people are begging - why draw that kind of attention to your wealth? why make it so clear that you're a 'have' among 'have nots'?

- priorities - I don't know how these people live - perhaps they have so much excess that the displays of wealth are a drop in the bucket - but likely they are spending money on this instead of other things that I would think are more 'important' - but we can all do more to spend or money toward helping others - I'm no saint there for sure (I'm a one for the common good, three for me kind of girl...)

I don't know... Cape Town is captivating, it holds my heart and always has - but I miss Oregon. I miss the lack of pretense, the lack of judgement, the earthiness of the people. These types are in Cape Town too - I have met them, I must find out where they hang out :)

I stand corrected...

So apparently none of my friends were impacted by the storm other than power outages, but Hurricane Irene has done some pretty strong damage with the flooding. And my mom made the good point that our infrastructure isn't what it should be - with the weak economy we can't pay for this right now. It's like a family relying on a single car to get to their jobs to pay the bills, and having it break down and being short of credit to get it repaired. BUT - I still assert that the damage we're facing is nothing compared to what Haiti faced, or even what Irene did say to the Dominican Republic. This is a huge disaster when measured in financial terms BECAUSE we have a lot of stuff. Not huge financial damage when shacks are destroyed. That's simply not a good measure from an ethical standpoint. When considering our economy, ok. That needs some serious fixing... As with health care - don't get me started on this :)

So how do we measure 'importance' - it is loss of life? interruption of way of life? % of land/area damaged? financial cost? Certainly the last thing matters for a country's economy - but it isn't as critical as loss of life, in my opinion.

And as an aside - 100 people killed in flash flooding in Nigeria yesterday - I'm sure it got a pathetic fraction of the news coverage that Irene got...

A friend just sent me this link which adds some interesting discussion about poverty:

http://www.quora.com/Poverty/Which-is-harder-being-poor-in-America-or-being-middle-class-in-the-developing-world

Have we no shame?? And where to draw our own lines...

**I wrote this post before the flooding in New England took place - obviously the winds and initial impact of the storm was not the concern - I stand fully corrected that this was a pretty major disaster - but still think there is a LOT to be thankful for - our infrastructure will prevail and ALREADY DID prevail in successful evacuations saving the lives of so many people**

I was honestly embarrassed by the amount of press that Hurricane Irene received. Even some of my friends on the east coast enduring the storm were flabbergasted that the Hurricane received 24/7 coverage. Yes, it was a very large storm, yes there is damage, yes people died - but in the grand scheme of things, this is not world news. The infrastructure in the US is so solid that the damage will be easily repaired, people (if they even lost power) will not be without it long, and this will not do long-term damage to our society. (See my newer post for a correction on the damage of Irene)

Think of Haiti - that was devastation - that was world news.

The flooding in the midwest earlier this summer - that was devastating - and barely made a wrinkle in the news.

Sometimes I feel the US is SOOO spoiled that we forget how lucky we are that everyone has power practically all of the time. Our poor, yes, they struggle, yes their lives are difficult - but there is government support, food stamps, shelter - at minimum. The poorest 10% of Americans live better than hundreds of millions of people around the world.

"Most of America's "poor" live in material conditions that would be judged as comfortable or welloff just a few generations ago. Today, the expenditures per person of the lowestincome onefifth (or quintile) of households equal those of the median American household in the early 1970s, after adjusting for inflation. (http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2004/01/understanding-poverty-in-america)"

Don't get me wrong - the economy in the US and the need for more jobs is critical. In fact "A recent NPR report states that as much as 30% of Americans have trouble making ends meet and other advocates have made supporting claims that the rate of actual poverty in the US is far higher than that calculated by using the poverty threshold. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_the_United_States)" And health care - let me not even get started about that... We should always be trying to improve our country. But let's be realistic about what is life critical.

To put America into perspective - look at the graph shown on the following blog: http://tenthingsithink.com/2011/02/08/the-poorest-americans-and-the-richest-indians/

"How can there be so many people in the world who make less than America’s poorest, many of whom make nothing each year? Remember that were looking at the entire bottom chunk of Americans, some of whom make as much as $6,700; that may be extremely poor by American standards, but that amounts to a relatively good standard of living in India, where about a quarter of the population lives on $1 a day."

So here I am in Africa - enjoying the fact that my room is cleaned for me every day, tea is laid out in the department every day, I don't have to worry about the 'little things'. Why am I so spoiled here? Because it is so inexpensive to hire workers. There are so many people who need work that the pay for workers is ridiculously low.

Patience, the cleaning lady in the physics department at UCT has worked there solid and full time for 11 years. She lives in the slums. Slums. As in make-shift shacks, electricity often hand-spliced and run to different shacks, water not in all dwellings. I hope her home is one of the nicer ones - one that is built of solid brick and has plumbing and electric - but they are the vast minority in the ~500,000 person slum in which she lives. MY cleaning lady in Oregon has a nice car, provides her daughter with a solid education, and lives a middle-class lifestyle compared to Americans.

I am always torn when I am here. I have the means to enjoy luxuries and live comfortably. I appreciate not needing to worry about cleaning and cooking - it is in part why I can accomplish so much work when I visit here. But I hate knowing that my TIP for the taxi driver (that I think nothing of) is more than the cost of the city bus that the middle-class here can afford to take - overcrowded and sometimes unsafe because of accidents. Middle-class is hard to define, even. If you discount the slums, Cape Town is largely modern and affluent. But the slums hold a sizable fraction of the population. Only 38% of the population has at least a high school education and the MEDIAN (not average, but middle) income is just over $3000 per year. It's not cheep to live here - going out to eat costs a bit less than in the US, but not much. Housing costs are similar to the US - in fact it is not easy for a new faculty member to afford a house.

I go to Kirstenbosch and enjoy the gardens, and spend $20 on a nice lunch. That's expensive. Even for me. I look around and see an elite group and tourists. No ethnic diversity, no sign even that an average city dweller is there. Yet I enjoy going there because I can lay in the grass in the sun and feel completely safe - knowing that everyone inside the gardens is probably richer than I am so I won't be robbed! It is one of the most beautiful botanical gardens in the world. But I LONG to see it free to the public, free for all people, and safe for everyone to enjoy.

How fortunate we are in the US that places like Central Park are free enjoyed by all cross sections of the population? How fortunate are we that it is a 'crisis' that a storm might cause us to go without power for a few hours? How fortunate are we that a 'historically devastating' Hurricane will not impact our infrastructure more than for a few days?

And what of Patience, the cleaning lady? Oh so many people I know that would make any number of excuses not to take her in. It would be awkward to share the bathroom, there is only a couch for her to sleep on, one doesn't want to share private space, it will be inconvenient, one can't trust her... Bullshit. Seriously. Bullshit. I have more space, comfort, food, and more than I need - by a large margin. I don't have to 'give' anything to her - I only have to treat her as a friend, as someone who is respectable and human and therefore equal. She no more deserves to sleep on the floor in the department to preserve her safety while refusing to go on strike than anyone. She is a mother, a worker, a friend to many. She may not be someone I know well, but she is valued by many.

One thing I always try to remember when traveling abroad is that humans have dignity and if there is a practice which a culture engages in, it is done with dignity. (with some exception not limited to under developed locations!!) If someone has a different level of comfort and living, they have a way to make it safe and effective - if it can work for them it can work for me. Human dignity, decency, respect. Sometimes we all need to drink a dose of this. We are all equals.

Am I doing the right things? No. I could live more modestly, donate more, help people more. Absolutely. We all need to draw our own lines and find a balance between how we are comfortable living including ethical decisions. Will I continue to visit Kirstenbosch? Yes - it is lovely. But I will have mixed feelings about being there. I will always try to do good - but I will always know that there is more I COULD do. Awareness is something of value, at least. Remembering my relative place in the world is critical.

The minor troubles of mine shall NOT overshadow the major troubles of my fellow human. This is my goal.

Mini-vacation, SW Oregon!!

After wandering 3100 miles through the midwest, I flew back to Oregon, drove home and lovingly realized that nothing I had seen in my trip was prettier than things I could easily drive to right from home. I had the chance to put this into action on Friday - when a tripa friend and I had been discussing for over 2.5 year finally came to fruition. Friday we went on Safari in Oregon - YEP! Safari! Ok, having been on Safari in South Africa it is not the same, but still, it was pretty cool. The predator animals were separated from the pray, but the pray had lots of lovely land to roam on and were mixed with other animals and birds, and you drive through slowly and see what you can find. They were all pretty easy to spot from the roadside - but it was more fun than the zoo. I'm glad we went :) However, I still am not crazy about the ethical history of animals in captivity. I'd like to know what they do with the elderly animals, the unwanted males (herds had mostly females) and so forth. Until I trust that zoos (and related facilities) don't pawn off their unwanted animals on 'lesser' facilities that have poor environments, I'd still rather see nature IN nature, rather than in captivity.

On the way to safari we stopped at the Winston diner, an adorable old-school diner filled with locals where they made an amazing vanilla malt milkshake, and not having many vegetarian options, I was thrilled they were willing to make me eggs and toast. Sweet - thank you folks!

Then we drove to Ashland and checked into our lovely inn, the Lithia Springs Inn. We had a half-priced room thanks to Groupon - normally close to $300/night, including free wine, tea service, and a pretty fancy breakfast spread. The grounds are lovely, the folks friendly, but the best thing is that the room came with a private hot springs tub :)

We headed into town for dinner then saw our first play, Osage county - riveting drama about certainly one of the most dysfunctional family to ever make it into fiction. It was really an exploration of pivotal moments - when you have the choice of stepping away and not getting sucked into other people's behaviors, or when you fall into place with the behaviors you were raised with. It was quite powerful and very well acted.

Before bed we had a 'swim' in the tub, soaking up the healing minerals, then slept like babies.

The next morning, after breakfast, we checked out then hung out at the very large city park in Ashland, walking along the creek, resting in the sun, and dare I saw it - I got some work done... because that's how I roll! Then a quick lunch and off to the next play.

African Company presents Richard III was very interesting for a few reasons - first the way they echoed Shakespeare's blending of what is on stage being a commentary of reality. In this case they made the poignant point that being a servant is acting because you can never show your true self - so they LIVE as actors, and only on stage is how they can express their 'realness' as equal humans. The other poignant point is that the play is based on real events and real people - an African company put on Richard III right next to a white company back in the mid 1800's, and made a segregated place for whites to stand in the back. Amazing!!! I'm so impressed by the folks that had the gaul to push society like that.

Then we were off on an unexpected detour. My friend told me that he had NEVER seen crater lake - he's lived in oregon about 7 years?? WHAT?? So off to crater lake we went. I love it there - I've been about 4 times in 4 years and will go many more. This time I REALLY wanted to cliff dive into the lake, but we got there after the sun had left the caldera, so it was really cold - I'll go back another time :) We sat by the lake until nearly sunset, then made it back across the mountains back home after dark.

Two days, one overnight, many different types of adventures, much wonderfulness, and VERY thankful for having a very good friend to share it with :)

Arkansas - last stop!

Friday and Saturday, Aug 5th and 6th

I really had no plan for Arkansas other than see the Ozarks, in the NW corner of the state. Arkansas is the state I probably know the least about. I was impressed by the visitors center and the very friendly lady there who helped me plan a half day of seeing the best of the ozarks, with a nice town to stop in for dinner before heading back north. It involved about 10 miles of dirt roads, but would allow me to go deep into the Ozark national forest and see a great overlook. I was stoked - sounded perfect!

I headed into the forest only to find the roads had detours. I ended up on dirt roads much sooner than expected and went many many miles out of the way before finding the overlook. Granted, the overlook was TERRIFIC - and the ride was beautiful, I was tired of driving, the roads were horrible - but worst, I was running out of gas!!! I went without A/C to save fuel, but since it was at least 110 degrees that meant I was sooo over heated, feeling dehydrated and weak. I pushed through, knowing it was only 10 miles from the overlook to the main road and next town. 10 miles - no problem, right? After doing about 3000 already on the trip???

After the overlook, I found the cut through road, made it about 8 miles down it, only to find it was blocked off!!! YIKES! Gas light on, so many back windy roads behind me to get to that spot, and I can't go any further! I'm exhausted, dehydrated, and so worried that I'll run out of gas in the middle of the forest. I decided I was only a few miles from the town - my best bet was to push forward, USING the closed road, and at worst I'd have a few miles walking to get help if I couldn't get the car through. I moved the barriers and pushed forward. I was happy to see there were tire tracks so someone had been there recently. There was a downed tree - but it had been mostly cleared, the tire tracks went past it and so did I. Thinks were looking good. About one mile to go I saw the real reason for the road closure - the road was BROKEN OFF! It was barely wide enough for me to pass with my little economy rental car - but the tracks I was following had done it, and I figured I could to - so I held my breath and pressed on.

I soon came to the other end of the road block, passed through (good think those signs aren't heavy - they were easy to move aside then put back in place!!) and found the main road and town. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. Now for a gas station - but WAIT! None in the town! Yikes. So I had two choices - push north and hope for a gas station, or head back south on the main road (toward where I had started had I not gone on the forest roads) knowing the interstate wasn't far. I reluctantly backtracked and headed south - to find, to my sheer delight, a small fishing stop and single gas pump just outside of the town. I got a rehydrating drink, filled the tank and took a little breather. Somewhat recovered from my fiasco, I started back north.

The recommended town of Eureka Springs was indeed quite cute, and I was very happy to settle into what looked like a decent restaurant with live music and have an ice cold beer. (If you know me well, you know this is NOT my norm - but that beer was SOOO needed and OH SO good!) I was rattled, tired, and ready to go home. After dinner I drove north until I couldn't drive anymore, stopped at a hotel for ease and slept. The next morning I packed up all my things and headed back to the Omaha airport. Much easier trip north, knowing the Iowa side was washed out - so I took back Kansas roads and it was smooth going... I was VERY happy to reach the airport and get back to Oregon safe and sound that night!!

Heading South - Oklahoma

Thursday and Friday, August 4th and 5th

I left the conference a few hours early - realizing that I would not manage the 20 hours of driving left for my trip in 2.5 days without doing so. I pushed and went about 10 hours on Thursday and made it to a lovely campsite by a lake just outside Oklahoma City.

Getting there was no easy task, the main highway between Omaha and Kansas City is still

closed from flooding and I had to backtrack and take back roads to get south. I hadn't fully realized the extent of the flooding - despite all that I had already seen - until this. It is heart breaking. The people of Oklahoma have also dealt with recent bad tornadoes, and over 45

days of over 100 degree weather. It was about 110-115 when I was there.

I was a bit worried about this campsite, because I saw about 5 people being stopped by cops in the near by town - and mostly people on foot, in handcuffs, not the typical speeding ticket stops. When i got to the campsite around 10:30pm, there were teens playing and people being obnoxious. I thought maybe I wouldn't be able to stay there. But the ranger pulled up almost immediately, assured me it was safe and told the kids they had to leave - it was for overnight camping only. After she left, a couple came to camp near me - and they had a bad fight. It unnerved me and I slept horribly. At least in the morning I woke up to a lovely view of the lake, went lake swimming and decided that a bath in the lake was far preferable to the tornado damaged camp showers. It was sublime! And quiet. Only one fisherman in site, he waved politely and moved on. My swim shorts and shirt were great fold holding my shampoo, too :)

Then I went to the Oklahoma city bombing memorial and museum. An incredible place - and another must-see. I am very thankful for this recommendation from friends. The memorial is beautiful and very touching, and the museum does a great job and making the people very tangible - the idea of innocent civilian deaths has never been more poignant, yet at the same time, the museum leaves you with a sense of healing. It is a town renewed, not a town broken. One special spot is a tree that amazingly survived the bombing (which ruined several surrounding buildings), and now has a place of honor on the memorial grounds.

Then it was off to Arkansas...