Reflections on my summer

This summer was totally amazing in many different ways. I was free to choose my own goals, and free to explore life in ways I had never done before. I didn't have a job to worry about (though thankfully I had a paycheck - I love academia!) and since my stuff was in storage all my old projects could be forgotten. I was thrilled to have a new job - my dream job, to look forward to, and thrilled to be done with my first job which I was glad to leave. This feeling of liberation and accomplishment gave me the confidence to be open to the world and to enjoy my interactions with new people and places during the summer.

The summer started before I left Massachusetts, with a long visit from my mom. Together, we drove up to Maine for my first ever visit there, and on the way up we went to a terrific music hall in the middle of nowhere for some great modern folk-style music. We also went on a whale watching cruise off the Boston coast. We did a little hiking including the cedar swamps that feel magical to be in.




Then I sent my stuff into storage, loaded up my car with my summer essentials and pets, and headed to North Carolina to spend the summer with family. I had my own apartment waiting for me and I knew more of my neighbors within a week than I had known after a year in Massachusetts - people were much friendlier in N.C.! I was thrilled to spend time with my mom and sister, and especially to get to know my adorable nephew.

Shortly after arriving in N.C. I flew out to Oregon to find a house. There was one I had in mind when I flew out; walking distance to campus and quite cute. However, the neighbors were reportedly drug dealing and the street just wasn't good. Fortunately the place I ended up buying went on the market while I was there, and I jumped on it after seeing it and exploring the neighborhood. That was after having been up and down nearly every street in town - and picking up every for sale flier I could find. There was little here in my meager price range. I was happy to stay with a friend's brother and his family while looking for a house - they live only about 20 miles away from where I now live. It is nice to know good people here. I will have them over after I unpack.

Once I returned to N.C. I got started on an old research project that had been sitting in my files. I knew if the data was decent I could get a small paper from it this summer, and I intended to present it at a conference which was fortunately near home. Having worked hard on that project I was ready to spoil myself, so when I found out a guy I knew would be in Vegas and said I could join him and his friends I got online and used a voucher I had to go there for only $100. With all my job interviews I have made elite status on NWA, so I was upgraded to first class - funny since I booked it 2 days in advance and paid so little...

I made a friend on the plane and he invited me to join him and his friends the following evening for a show. After being fairly bored with the guys I was hanging out with (they were math grad students and mostly interested in star trek and poker...) I jumped at the chance to join my new friend for a show. The girl he had gone on the trip with met us there, and she was a hoot. We are still in touch. She had friends from Poland she was meeting there and she invited me to party with them. We stayed up dancing all night and went in Caesar's fountain at 4am - this is a lot more fun than the Star Trek exhibit! I went to my first gay bar that night - I saw a transvestite pole dancing, a midget on the dance floor, and the guy from the plane got us free drinks because the bartender was hitting on him. These people were a lot of fun and we ended up staying up until morning joking and laughing. I am still in touch with the lady - she is hilarious.

Upon returning home I had to nearly immediately leave again to go with my mom and sister to help take care of a cousin (and very close friend of my mom) who broke her hip. It was not an easy trip because my mom's old home town is very depressed, and the conditions of our cousin's hospital and home life were hard to deal with. I also had trouble finding healthy food and felt sick for most of the week. It was, however, a great time to spend with my sister as the two of us continued on and saw a few aunts, uncles and cousins in Birmingham while my mom stayed in the country with our cousin. My favorite part of the trip, however, was the final drive home when we started singing the songs we used to sing as kids - and ended up calling an old babysitter to help remember some lyrics. She was at work, but joined in the singing over the speaker phone :)

Even visiting these people was different from my usual experiences. I went out clubbing with a cousin and saw a lifestyle I had never experienced. She is such a beautiful and sweet girl that everyone is drawn to her and wants to do things for her. Her friends were very welcoming to me which was nice because they are not like people I usually hang out with. One is a model and all were seemingly more interested in beauty than academics. Charles Barkley was at the club we went to, which was rather cool. I didn't go talk to him though - he seemed bombarded. My cousin did as one of her friends knew him. After leaving the club we went for food at the only place still open - a late night bar which was rather seedy. Some guy who tried to convince us he was a vampire was trying so hard to pick up my cousin's friend. She was understandably totally uninterested and gave him a very hard time in return. We had a fun evening and had a good time laughing about it on the way home and the next morning.

Shortly after returning to N.C. I left again for Ohio to see old friends. On the way (well, not really on the way but I made it work anyway) I went to Nashville to use the gift certificate I got for my birthday. It entitled me to laps in an Indy race car and a Stock car, each going up to 180 mph. I didn't even know what those two types of cars were before booking my rides! It was awesome - probably the best gift ever. Thanks mom! Next time I'm driving :) A friend of mine - in fact an older student from my last quarter in Ohio, invited me to join her family for a day at the mid-Ohio race tracks to round out my racing weekend. That was awesome. I got to see both types of cars in action, and we got passes where we could go behind the pit crews and see behind the scenes. I loved the smells, the sounds, and the adrenalin in the air. I had no idea racing would appeal to me, but it did. I was glad to have that new experience!

In Ohio I had bad sleeping arrangements as my friend (the same one that helped me make the drive to Oregon) had a horrible house mate. That house mate had invited his (previously unmentioned) wife and two kids to stay for what he said was a week or two, and it had been 6 weeks and they were still there. They were total slobs, too, and freaked out by my dog. I didn't enjoy that at all and spent as little time there as I could. That freed me up nicely though to see other friends. I have 3 friends there who are artists - though one has yet to decide if she will ever part with anything, even though she has had nice offers for purchasing some of them. The other two both have works I would like to buy and I enjoyed visiting with them again.

One of those artist friends is the one that originally rescued my dog. She had me over to party, got tipsy, and told me more of the story of her rescue than she ever had in the past. Apparently she thought I would feel guilty and want to return my dog - but after 2 years now there is no way - she is mine for good. She found out who the owners were about a month after I took the dog in and had kept the secret all this time. Apparently the owners had bought a new house in the country and couldn't move in yet, but couldn't have a dog in their apartment. So they (after having obtained the dog in exchange for work done for a breeder) dumped the puppy outside and left it there for over a month until they could also go live there. When my friend's grandma found the puppy, she was covered in tics and fleas, dehydrated, and malnourished. I don't think these people deserved to have her - I am glad she is mine. I also think my friend did the right thing to not tell me immediately - I would have felt guilty then, but my bond with her is too strong now.

I also went out with another friend to a fancy new restaurant/bar/club in a restored church. The place could be really cool but probably will not do well. The service was horrific. Our waitress seemed totally inept and clueless, and seemed to think it was cute that she was that way! And this at a place where entrees start at $20 for a small plate. After the dinner we went to a lesbian dance club - also a first for me. I had not even known of it my whole 7 years living in Columbus. I have to say it was really liberating to be there. There were no pretenses and no snobbery like I felt at the place I went to with my cousin earlier in the month. There were straight couples, gay couples, but mostly just groups of friends dancing and having a good time. No one was dressed fancy and everyone seemed accepted and comfortable. There were even very nerdy looking guys confident enough to dance on the tables - that I would never see at some hip trendy club. I had also never been dancing with this friend before - it was a weekend unlike any other I had ever spent in Ohio.

When I returned back to N.C. I was happy to be dating a really fun, nice and cute guy I had met just before my trip. We had probably the most fun date ever, starting with a good dinner at a Thai restaurant, then an impromptu canoe trip down a river around midnight. This was tricky as there were lots of downed trees blocking our paths and places where we had to wade through in the dark. I ended up bruised up a bit but it was fun. Then we talked for a while on his porch and ended up cuddling in a hammock until dawn next to a horse pasture. I had actually dated more since April than I had in the last 2 years combined. And although this guy was the first person I liked enough to spend so much time with, overall the dating has been fun and positive and gives me hope for the future. I am starting to enjoy meeting people, getting to know them, and am meeting people that are worth knowing. On another fun date with the N.C. guy we camped out by the river - my first time sleeping outside in a long time. I was comfortable outside and I can't wait to get back into camping now that I'm on the west coast. A day that I also really enjoyed involved hiking, eating homemade ice cream on the porch with locals at a little country store, then helping him move bales of hay on the farm. That's hard work - I was sweaty, filthy, and sore after that - but it was fun :) This is the same friend that fixed up the bike for me as I mentioned in an earlier post. The last evening I saw him, just before the move to Oregon he also took me on my first motorcycle ride which I really enjoyed - it felt liberating!

Then it was time for my conference. I had submitted my paper and was ready to give my talk, which was well-received. I made a lot of new friends at the conference as well as spent quality time with some old friends. A friend I had made a few years ago (and not seen since) had lost over 100 lbs since she had started power lifting, and she can now dead lift 270 lbs! It was great to catch up with her and hear of all her adventures. It was also terrific to see how empowered she is becoming, and how great she looks! I have been inspired (by more than one source) to be more physically strong this summer, having spent a lot of time at my sister's yoga studio and gotten a private work-out routine worked out with one of the instructors there based on my personal goals and target areas.

At the conference since I wasn't stressed about anything I was able to hang out with people much more than usual. This allowed me to see things I don't normally see. I found out things about people I never would have guessed - personal things I would not post here. I also participated in drinking games (though I didn't drink - I was still accepted) at 2am in the hotel lobby with a bunch of professors and teachers ranging in age from mid-20's to probably about 60. I had no idea such behavior went on at conferences and although I'm glad I saw it, I'll probably avoid it next time :)

After the conference two old friends came back to my mom's house with me and we hiked, went canoeing and on the jet ski, and had some nice meals both out and at home. It was great to have visitors, catch up with friends, and to do some more activities before heading to South Africa.

This summer was just amazing. Not only did I get the quality time with family I had been missing, but I also learned things about people I never knew, met people I would have never met in my past, experienced loads of awesome new things, and enjoyed every minute of it. I also had the chance to re-evaluate goals, set and work on new ones, and re-think how I want to shape my future. All this and I still got a paper accepted for publication :)

And all this BEFORE my amazing trip to South Africa!!