Sunday, October 14, 2007

My new job

This time my breech in posting was not due to dating, but rather was due to starting my new job. It has been hectic, but great! I feel the burden of responsibility now, though, much more so than I have in the past. Not only do I have roughly 250 students to manage, but I also have a graduate student working for me for research, 4 working for me for teaching, and 2 undergrads working for me for grading. Plus I'm in charge of some committees and have also started a journal club where I am the local "expert" in the field and am thus expected to be able to answer everyone's in-depth questions. Overall I feel I'm up to the task, but this past week I was quite congested and groggy (adjusting to the rainy climate here, I think) and I was not thinking very quickly or well. I hope no one things ill of me based on seeing me not at my peak this week!

I have realized something about myself that is both a blessing and a curse. I have an amazing ability to see everything that I do that could be done better. This, I'm sure, has enabled me to constantly push myself to improve, and thus be successful. However, it also makes me feel like I'm constantly screwing up. I need to shift my mindset to seeing things as ways I can improve next time instead of ways I have failed. I hardly think anything I have done here has been a failure by any stretch - and I need to cut myself some slack.

This past week especially has been up and down. I had what I thought was a great lecture planned for Monday, and the students were underwhelmed by a demo I was using to illustrate an important concept. As a result I felt they weren't really thinking about what was happening, and thus missed the point. Then Wednesday went far better than I expected it to, and was followed by a student telling me he's taken (and dropped) the class twice before and I'm by far the best instructor he's seen. I did another demo by having a student skateboard in front of the class while throwing/dropping a basketball. This was used to show relative motion and was fun and had some results that surprised the students and kept their attention. Friday again was underwhelming - I think by then I was really not feeling well, and my energy level was very down. I think all classes must go this way - some days better than others. I need to learn to take everything in stride and quit worrying so much.

One thing that has been great is my graduate teaching assistants - they are really on board with the teaching and making sure we emphasize the same points and goals in the class. We're coordinating well to keep the labs, recitations and lectures on pace and emphasizing common key points. I hope this is coming across to the students as well. They often think they know this stuff, but they usually need to see it multiple times before they stop making common mistakes.

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